Depression battle tests young Aussie

SOURCE: The Age newspaper

Aussie golfer STEVEN Bowditch says golf is about the last thing that matters in his life as he struggles to emerge from clinical depression.

"Golf at this stage of my life is not a concern to me. It's my wellbeing off the course," said the 23-year-old from Perigian Beach in Queensland, who last week failed to make the cut for the 14th time in 14 starts in his rookie season on the US PGA Tour.

Bowditch, who burst to prominence when he won last year's Jacob's Creek Open in Adelaide at just 21, recently started taking medication for his depression, and is trying to be patient until it begins to work.

"The biggest problem is off the golf course," he said. "That's when it really hurts. I went a stretch of 13 days where I didn't have a wink of sleep.

"You get thoughts you shouldn't have, your being on tour, your purpose of living over here, living in general. They are questions you ask yourself I don't wish on anyone."

Bowditch isn't sure what caused his depression, although he says his family has a history of it. All he knows is that it began a couple of years ago and got much worse at the start of this year.

"My attention span and concentration levels are dismal," he said. "I'm grateful to be out here and still trying to compete, but I feel my mind is at about 30 per cent. It's not fun, but it's something I've got to work through and sitting on the couch is not going to do it either."

He says he has a great support team, with his parents, girlfriend and manager providing a "major, major help keeping me on the ground and playing golf".

But even with all the love in the world, these are testing times for a young man who just a few months ago seemed to have the world at his feet. "You can't think clearly," he said. "Everything you do, whatever you think, is all scattered. You doubt yourself, because you've got no confidence in what you do. It's either a doubt, or you can't remember.

"I get short-term memory losses. I can't remember the 17th hole now," he said shortly after completing a round. AAP

Those needing assistance or information should visit www.beyondblue.org.au , call Suicide Helpline Victoria on 1300 651 251 or Lifeline on 131 114.